I had gone to a secret group for men who did not want to be gay to try and get rid of my feelings. You are just too scared of what people will think.''ĭespite what my mother said, I had long fought the idea that I was gay. My mother told me, ''I think you know who you are. It was after a heated debate with a cousin who found me quite emotional when the topic of discrimination came up. My mother sort of outed me three years later after that phone conversation to my aunt. I thought if I actually just said I think I might have feelings then somehow my attraction would go away. My late aunt was the first person to whom I told that I might have feelings for other men, in a phone conversation in 2009. It was a long process of dealing with internal wounds from my childhood and multiple attempts at romantic relationships with women before I finally arrived at the realization that I was gay. I had consulted a therapist secretly for a couple of years and went to a church and attended sessions to “un-gay” myself.
For years I wrestled with being gay and fought against it. That meant the world to me that she said those words because she used her platform to promote acceptance and unity I was unapologetic, I was an athlete, I was truthful and I was gay. Though some of my teammates stared at me, I couldn’t care less. She then came over to where I was sitting and hugged me. I unofficially came out as gay to my college track and field teammates at our team banquet while dancing to Beyoncé’s “Single Ladies.”Īt the banquet for my team at Otterbein University in Ohio, our team captain grabbed the microphone and praised people for being themselves and made a special point of saying it about me.
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